It's true you know, I've done seen about everything, but I've never seen an elephant fly. We all know the words to this song, and what its about. Now most of us don't think about this kind of crap all that much but I did today and I found out some funny things. I've got friends who will take a bullet for me, friends that will drop their girl just to hang with me, friends that talk shit about me behind my back, friends I don't get to see enough of and even friends who say it to my face. And for this I am thankful. And thats the whole idea behind the song quote, because just when I thought I had every kind of friend I find a new one I've never had before. So what I guess I'm saying here is thank you to my friends, your there when I need you and even when I don't, Some I hug, some I curse, and some I kiss, but I'm thankful for you all, even the ones who talk shit about me. Now don't think I'm going all soft on you people, I just want you all to know that I care, and that you have effected my life more then you will know, and if I don't get to see you often enough, call you very often, reply to your messages or call you back remember my life is a crazy ass adventure. Or I just don't want to talk right now. But even in my life, new friends aren't the only flying elephants I haven't seen, there are many wonders I have yet to see, so now I pose this question to you.

Q: What flying elephants haven't you seen that you would like to see?
OR
Q: What flying elephants have you seen?

Post back a comment, I'd love to know

Below are three stories/poems that, though I did not write them, describe me in life right now very well.  If you think that a part of it pertains to you then it most likely does, and if you have a question as to wither or not it does, don't ask.  It's like the rest of my life, it's less like a structure and more like a piece or artistic musing take it how you want.  I could not find the artist name of these three works so they are not accredited here. 


There was a man of many great talents

A poet, an artist, an intellectual

He had read many books

And was certain of his superiority over others

He wrote many great pieces of verse

And fabulous paintings

That inspired all of his peers

There was a great output of inspirational poetry

And paintings of vivid colors and meanings

The city was alive with excitement and activity

This great man of learning observed all around him

And became somewhat disenchanted

He posted a letter in the local newspaper

Accusing his contemporaries of copying his style

And of stealing his ideas

Many letters were posted in the newspaper in response

"We admired your work and felt the power of creativity"

"Why do you criticize us for trying to improve ourselves?"

The debate continued in the newspaper

But it became more and more vindictive

And helped to undermine the peace of the city

Everybody became disenchanted and they started to leave the city

A brief spell of brilliant creativity

Was followed by a gradual decline

The other artists found pastures new

And lived happy and prosperous lives

But the city died

------------

Princess And The Ghost

The Princess lived in a magnificent castle

High on to of a hill

The King was situated in the palace some distance away

But he often visited and stayed at the castle

The Princess was very beautiful

She was twenty years old and adored by the towns people

Many nobleman hoped to win her hand in marriage

The Princess often wondered alone in the castle

And sometimes she walked through the dungeons

She felt at home with the dead

A sense of melancholy was always close at hand

She was reluctant to play the role of a princess

She wanted to choose her own husband

But that was not the way of things

While walking through the dungeons

She came into a contact with a ghost

His name was Sir Peter

He had been a gallant knight

And was brave in battle

He had been locked in the dungeon by a previous king

The Princess was enchanted by her ghost

She was not frightened at all

She found his presence comforting

She could empathize with his troubled spirit

The previous king had fallen in love with Sir Peter's sister

But she did not want to marry the king

She was an Anglo-Saxon and the king was a Norman

She already had a husband in mine

Who was the blacksmith in the local village

The previous king tried to take her by force

But the villages and townspeople resisted

Sir Peter headed the resistance

Eventually he was captured and taken to the castle

And his sister took her life rather than be forced to marry the king

After several years in the dungeons the king had sir Peter beheaded

The Princess was shocked by the story

She knew how his sister must have felt

Soon she would be twenty one years old

And her father was determined to announce her future husband

And her birthday approached when spent more time in the dungeon

Talking to the ghost of Sir Peter

The inhabitants of the castle thought his very odd

But said nothing

On the morning of her birthday

Her chambermaid entered her bedroom

And found the Princess lying lifeless on her bed

She had taken her own life

A note was found next to her body

"I have chosen my own destiny

I have chosen to join the ghost of Sir Peter in harmonious unrest

Will we ever find peace or will we haunt the castle forever?

I depart this world in a state of peace and contentment

Please don't weep for me - I have found my true destiny"

Time passed and the kingdom became a democracy

And the castle became a tourist attraction

Some people say they can still hear two ghosts singing and laughing together

Apparently content in their state of harmonious unrest

---------------
Tree of Despair

  The Tree of Despair hangs over me

Its enveloping branches choke the life out of me

It feeds on death to renew itself

Its only hope is to lead the innocent into damnation

The death of innocent souls keeps it alive

So many souls have passed this way

And met their doom

Led astray by the grim surroundings

They found many ways to kill themselves

Hundreds of bodies hang from the branches

And the leaves are blood red

They fall to the ground

And turn black

Adding to the sense of despondency

All those filled with shame

Head this way

Your end awaits you

Welcome to the Wood of Death

And the Tree of Despair

In this land of dead souls

The Dark Lord surveys all

His blood red eyes dismiss all hope

And twinkle wickedly at the dreadful scene

Only evil can thrive in his Dark Kingdom

Each night he counts the victims

Who hang from the Tree of Despair

I give you fair warning

Do not trespass here

Welcome class to the 3 rd session of Psyc class Negative Two hundred thirty one.  As I promised last week, today we will be covering the malady "Video Game Addiction" or how my son is so 1337 he p0wnz 7h3 n00b.  The idea for this illness has been around since the late 80's when parents noticed their children were no longer going outside on their days off but instead just sitting around playing Nintendo.  Well as we all know the video game empire soon ski rocketed as you can clearly see illustrated in page 137 of your text book.  And then... What?  You didn't buy the text book?   Are you shitting me?  You come to this class expecting to learn and you don't buy the book? 

Jesus, then I guess we're just going to have to cover this subject in a more lamens class session.  OK it goes like this, kids dig their games, no not Digg.com their games they just like them.  God i wish you had the book.  Anyways, and no I'm not shitting you, parants are so upset about their children's fixation with these games that some have sent their children to specialist reform schools made for children at an ASTOUNDING $5,000 a month that is NOT covered by insurance.  Uhh, do we see the issue here?  SO heres todays lecture, and yes were covering both sides of the story in one easy to follow head shot... err i mean one easy to follow lesson. 

Ok as far as the Kids are concerned here there is an issue.  Video games are able to be used as a learning tool, so can books.  Just remember if your going to learn from a book, that porn can be written with the same words as Charles Dickensian, so choose your books wisely.  I know on the box it says World of Warcraft, but its not a REAL world, and neither is the MTV show so just stop watching it all together.  Its a good damn game, and a fun one I know, but the last two generations have begun to replace digital experience with real ones.  Now I may not have seen the whole world class but I know that even the most boring thing I've seen outside the TV screen is infinitely greater then anything made of pixels.  Games are a great past time, that means to PAST THE TIME, not a waste time.  Make real friends, i know its scary but hey, get caught doing the Dean of Biology's daughter, that's scary.  No really, have you ever SEEN his daughter?  So the question is class, is this a Disorder and if it IS a disorder, is it one of the child's, or the parents minds.  Heres why I ask.  A United States Congressman once said that games should be rated harder on content because his son was playing Grand theft auto and doing some fucked up things, because thats what you do in GTA games.  Well the problem is this, if the twelve year old kid is playing a game the parents don't like, and the legal working age is fifteen or sixteen years of age, doesn't that mean the parent has to buy the game?  Ahh i see we have a question in the back, what is it Tim?

"Well Sir if the child gets an allowance for doing thing's around the house like babysitting his retarded uncle, couldn't he use THAT money to buy the video game?"

Ahh good question Tim, the answer is yes, but if your twelve year old is buying things that are priced up to $60 shouldn't the parent have a clue about this?  And if your kid is twelve years old and you let him buy movies, CD's or Video Games without screening what hes going to buy first, then you loose the right to bitch at what his brain is absorbing.

Now as far as the parents side goes, so what if you spawn is playing a lot of video games, these games may stop him from bathing or passing Algebra but in todays world of sin I'd rather my child be stinky and a little dumb then a knocked up crack whore any day.  And fuck any so called parent who says otherwise!  Now i know they should take it in moderation but come on here, of all the sins he could have that's by far on of the mildest.  And hey remember that a direct quote from Subways Jared was " ... video games really got me down the slope to obesity.  I remember as a kid having one hand on the controller and the other in a bag of chips."  So see maybe after getting level "LEET" on Fantasy Elf Island he can do a bunch of speed, get skinny and make MILLIONS.  Look for the silver lining to this dark cloud, just don't get struck by lightning while you look for it.  And if nothing else as I stated earlier we are living in an age where the world is getting smaller by global communication and somehow we are still drifting farther apart.  Now if I had to pick a side I would definitely say its a much healthier relationship to actually KNOW the people, but if it really floats your boat to find people digitally go for it.  Remember that letting blacks vote was once seen as insane by the masses, and eating mercury was once hailed as a good idea.  So just because we don't agree with it now lets at least wait a bit before we jump to calling it an official disorder and offering kids counseling like they have done something wrong.

So in closing I would have to say that NO it's not a disorder but a habit.  Kids are doing it way to much this is true, but parents not only let them but encourage it actually.  I can not count the number of parents i know who use video games as a babysitter rather then pay attention to their child.  So wheres the confusion when the kid grows up liking Mrs. Pacman more then he likes you?

Ahh theres the bell and we are out of time, next week we will be covering the affliction "Frothing at the crotch".  And trust me you don't want to miss this one, it even has a slide show.  Oh and you, yea the one reading this, next time get the book.

wonderful Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and
smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees
but
less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more
problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read
too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too
much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to
life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but
have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered
outer
space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better
things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom,
but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but
accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more
computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but
we
communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of
two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are
days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night
stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to
quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and
nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to
you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to
just
hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going
to be around forever.

Remember; say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because
that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the
only
treasure you can give with your heart, and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but
most
of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from
deep
inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will
not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious
thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments
that take our breath away.

What comes to mind when you hear the words "Sceinic country, Mountains, Snow, religious persicution, zeolot, vast open spaces?"  Well if your anser was Anna nichole smith you get half credit.. but the answer i was looking for was UTAH.  Yes that little almost square on the map most of us assumed was a hellmouth used only for the devouring of hopeless mortal souls!  well that may be true but hey it aint all bad.  I'm ranting on this subject today because thats where I just moved to... Yes I'm now considered MIA from the real world as I am bing held captive dep behind the zion curitin using my wit and foraging skills to survive.  Most of the natural danger comes from the local wild life.  They have this strange animal called the Utahis Driverous and boy let me tel you, its fast, its relentless, its inconsiderate and above all else its DUMB!  (narator switches over to bad australian accent) This blimey creature can grow anywhere from 10-15 ft long and has been known toreach speeds of 120 miles per-hour.  CRIKEY!  now thats speed.  Its favorite way to take down prey is to just ram it with its emourmas girth and inconsiderate missuse of blinkers.  But what I find to be a fascinating mystery about this creature is that when it does seem to ram its prey, it doesn't stay around and eat.  Instead it drives away even faster afraid of the alpha male or Pigicus Oinkicous to come displaying its impressive lights which it has turned from the nomal colors to flahing red and blue ones.  Once this bad boy comes around trust me, you want to be as fasr away as possible. 
     One of the other creatures in this wildlife presurve, or indstial wasteland you decide, is Mormanus Pioutes.  This creature isn't really a danger and is realativly safe to hunt.  The non-locals prefer to saute their meat with things like " Understanding, Open mindedness, compassion, other religious books, teriaky" but personally i find the taste to be a bit bland for my liking.  Now what people have a tendency to hate most about these pesky creatures is the fact that their breeding is out of controll.  They're everywhere round these parts and let me tell you, one of these little dandys is easy to tazer/harpoon then skinn and drag back to your cave but 100,000?  Thats a bitch!  CRIKEY!  They swarm up on ya and they can tell if your one of them or not by these strange code words they use like "are you LDS?  Are you a member of THE church?  What ward are you in?  WHere did you spend your mission?  Have you sacrificed your soul to he who is know as I am?"  ANd if you answer wrong then your in for it pal!  Tankfully me and bessy here (my faithfull harpoon gun) have been able to take down enough of them in the local area to stop them from encroching on the area I have CLEARLY marked as my teritory with vast amounts of my own urin ( i know its a bit barbarick but i had to find somthing these "people" could understnad).  But onw I think I must venture out and find a haven of refuge in this untamed place of finatical whoreship that will pay the bills and put that new hare trigger on old bessy so till next time reader HAPPY HUNTING (end of cheesy australian accent).

Well i hope you have all enjoyed this bit on utah and yea i mean every single bit of it!  Well ttfn and thanks for all the fish!